By Henry Preza
Discover how to establish a relationship according to the Bible. Learn to recognize signs, evaluate the character, faith, and family of the person you love before starting a Christian relationship.
Signs for Starting a Relationship
Many young people wonder what signs they can ask God for to begin a relationship. How can I know if this person is the one God has prepared for me? Is it possible to establish signs before starting a relationship? These questions have come up for hundreds of young people around the world.
The truth is that a relationship should not be based solely on signs. Before asking for confirmations, it is important to evaluate fundamental aspects that God considers for a relationship.
God's Word as a Guide
It’s not about looking for signs out of emotion or curiosity, but about determining if God’s Word supports the relationship you want to pursue. Some young people know that God does not approve of what they intend to do, yet they insist on seeking signs where none can exist. This can lead to failure and disappointment.
More than external signs, young people should focus on fundamental aspects, which often serve as much more reliable indicators.
Key Aspects Before Starting a Relationship
1. The Person is Born Again
God does not approve of unequal relationships. If the person you are interested in is not born again, it’s already a bad start. There’s no need to look for signs where God has already set boundaries. Persisting in these relationships only leads to frustration and pain.
2. The Person’s Testimony
Before seeking signs, observe the Christian testimony of the person you are interested in. They may claim to be born again, but their daily behavior reflects otherwise. Their testimony will determine what kind of person you will live with in the future.
For example, a young man started a relationship with someone from another congregation. Before moving forward, I advised him to consult her pastor about her testimony. The pastor said:
"If no one here dates her, it’s because they know they will fail. That girl has such a bad testimony that not even the most casual suitors want to date her."
The young man understood the importance of truly knowing the person before starting a relationship and ended it, making the right decision.
3. Knowing the Family
Another essential aspect is knowing the family of your future partner. The parents’ upbringing and values are often reflected in their children. This helps foresee what future life together will be like and whether the relationship will have a solid foundation.
Also, ask yourself if you will be able to live harmoniously with your partner’s family. Remember, your spouse will not be alone in your life, and family harmony directly affects the relationship.
4. Personality and Priorities
Before starting a relationship, get to know the other person as a friend and evaluate:
- What is their personality like?
- Do I like their character?
- What attitudes could decisively affect me?
- Will they be someone I can live with for life?
- What are their priorities?
- Where is God in their life?
- Do they love their neighbor?
These questions help discern if the person is compatible with you and your vision of Christian life. Often, these factors are the most important indicators.
Biblical Signs That Matter
It is possible to ask God for signs, but they must be clear and meaningful, not superficial or fantastical.
A biblical example is Abraham’s servant, who was looking for a wife for Isaac. The signs he asked for were:
- That she would be hardworking (bringing water to the camels).
- That she would have patience (not giving up on drawing water).
- That she would accept the blessing of going with him to his master.
As you can see, biblical signs focused on concrete attitudes that ensured a stable future, not movie-like situations as many young people propose today.
Final Reflection
Do not seek superficial signs to justify wrong decisions. Evaluate whether the person:
- Is born again.
- Has a good Christian testimony.
- Comes from a family with solid values.
- Has a character, priorities, and attitudes compatible with your life and faith.
If these aspects align, the signs will be an additional confirmation, not the foundation of the relationship.
And you, what do you think?

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