By Henry Rolando Preza
Hebrews 13:4 – “Let marriage be honored among all, and the marriage bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
Some couples who are dating and engaging in sexual relations often end up separating, mistreating one another physically or verbally, or facing consequences that will impact their marriage.
The Bible clearly says: “Let marriage be honored among all, and the marriage bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Hebrews 13:4).
True marital honor is reached in sexual purity. While some people marry in order to leave fornication behind, the memory of an initial dishonor never truly vanishes from their minds.
God calls young people to sexual purity. The Apostle Paul says: “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that every one of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5).
This command is for everyone, but it applies more readily to the young, since they are more exposed to illicit sexual relationships by not being married. Young people, there is nothing better than being faithful to God—sanctifying yourselves and turning away from sexual impurity.
Fornication is sin. You reap what you sow. If we sow immorality, we will reap immorality. Sin never comes alone, and whoever practices it will not go unpunished. Here are some of the consequences you will carry:
1. Guilt
The first thing experienced after sexual relations outside marriage is guilt, often felt minutes or hours after the sin. Sometimes guilt is delayed, only appearing when the consequences are felt.
A young person didn’t feel guilt until he was diagnosed with AIDS. Months later, he died of depression. In my experience, I’ve noticed that women often feel greater guilt. They feel guilty for having allowed the situation, especially if it results in an unwanted pregnancy. Men are affected too; to a greater or lesser degree depending on their responsibility or the consequences.
Some carry this guilt for the rest of their lives, and if they marry, they may reproach one another and generate arguments because of it. Married women often trace their marital problems back to the sexual relations they had during courtship, feeling that from that point onward everything was ruined.
By engaging in premarital sex, you lose your integrity, credibility, and the respect that should exist in the courtship. You have lost the most valuable thing you should have reserved for marriage. There will no longer be anything to hold back, and if there is, it will carry a stain that will sadden you.
2. Unwanted Pregnancies
I mentioned that guilt can come, but what about bringing a being into the world without being prepared to raise him? What will you give? How will you educate them? Some women resort to abortion, which worsens the situation by adding the sin of ending an innocent life to that of fornication.
Most young people have sexual relations without being prepared to avoid pregnancy, because it happens unexpectedly. They play with fire thinking they won’t be burned, and only realize the consequences when it is too late. I have heard single young mothers say that the day they became pregnant they didn’t even plan to have sex. “The moment got heated and, although I was confused, I didn’t know what to do, so I yielded.”
First of all, you shouldn’t have been there or been doing what you were doing. I also know couples who used condoms or other methods and they failed. They were so surprised they didn’t know how to react. No condom, pill, or method is 100% safe; only abstinence never fails. If you are in this situation, I ask you: What would you do in the face of an unwanted pregnancy? Don’t be foolish—wait until marriage.
3. Affliction, Fear, and Frustration
These feelings join guilt. The frustration in the woman is evident in feeling she has lost her worth, her innocence, the credibility of her parents, and that she was treated like a toy by her disrespectful boyfriend (men can feel this too).
If you are Christian, you feel that God has turned away from you, that He will no longer help you, that you no longer deserve salvation, and that there is no longer hope. You fill your life with affliction when you think you have failed God. You feel fear of the consequences.
If you feel God has departed, you should know that He can manifest Himself again in you if you truly repent. God does not abandon His children; you must ask Him for forgiveness for that sin. But do not deceive yourself thinking that if He forgives you, you can sin without consequences. That is a grave mistake. God disciplines the child He loves, and we always reap what we sow. Even though God forgives you, He does not guarantee that He will erase all the consequences. However, there is always hope for the repentant sinner.
4. Moral and Value Decay
Chip Ingram, in his book Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships, states that couples who have premarital sex have a 50% greater chance of divorce. This shows a loss of spiritual and moral values. One characteristic of these couples is the emergence of cycles of violence, even physical. Although it may not seem so, fornication is the cause. Couples who fall into fornication fight a lot, in a daily cycle of reconciliation.
Fights are usually over insignificant things, and sudden jealousy and distrust appear. Respect is lost, and there is a fear that if one fell, they could fall again with anyone. Moral decay deepens in marriage, if they even reach it, which is not common. The path of fornication rarely has a reversal; the harm tends to deepen. Only a firm purpose to love God can change this situation.
Conclusion
In conclusion, premarital sexual relations are harmful. Young people who have fallen into them must first ask God’s forgiveness and make prior decisions to avoid sinning again. It is far more effective to say “no” and avoid the circumstances that lead to this situation than to try to resist in the moment.
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