By Henry Rolando Preza
Many young people ask how, when, and with whom to marry. They also often wonder at what age it is appropriate to take this step. Most of them, when asking this question, already demonstrate a lack of preparation for marriage and a departure from what is truly important for marriage.
The most important thing is not age, but who you are as a person: whether you are ready to marry, whether you are physically, spiritually, and psychologically prepared to face all the responsibilities that marriage entails.
Age is not fundamental and, at the same time, cannot be a predominant element to the point of placing it alongside the will of God. It is useless to pay attention to the age of couples if the will of God is forgotten in an old drawer in the dirty basement of the hearts of so many young people around the world.
Courtship: Preparation for Marriage
I often hear young people ask if the age they are is appropriate for dating, showing total ignorance about what courtship means.
Courtship is the path to marriage. From this perspective, we cannot accept children who wish to date, as what they will least do is get married. Most likely, they simply want to touch indecently or have sexual experiences. The state of young people in courtship is often more related to disrespect than to a genuine relationship based on love.
One cannot go to the extreme of establishing a specific age. Some, eager to make this a rule, have committed great excesses and have wanted to manipulate righteous young people who live in the will of God, trying to decide for them what does not concern them.
It would be fair to clearly understand some biblical elements in this regard, so that each interested party finds what corresponds to them.
Biblical Teachings on Marriage
The Bible says:
"Then the Lord God made the man fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man.' That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." (Genesis 2:21-24)
Man and woman were destined to be one flesh. Therefore, they must leave father and mother to live apart. The Bible teaches us that no one should marry without being prepared to distance themselves from them.
Many couples seek marriage with the idea of continuing to live with their parents or being financially supported by them, as when they were children. This is not compatible with a mature marriage.
Age to Marry: Factors to Consider
Historically, no one married without being prepared. Normally, the man was older than the woman, often more than ten years. This does not mean it should always be this way; there are many marriages where the woman is older and they remain successful before God.
For example, Joseph was older than Mary, the mother of Jesus. She was about fifteen years old, and he perhaps twenty-five or more. This did not prevent them from being considered righteous and pleasing to God.
The fundamental thing is not age, but maturity. Even older people may not be prepared if their emotional or spiritual maturity is insufficient.
Key Factors Before Marrying
1. Age Factor
While age is not fundamental, it cannot be ignored. Very young people should wait before marrying. Some important factors:
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Physical Health and Pregnancy: Early pregnancy can lead to complications and birth risks. Girls aged 14 to 18 do not have full physical development, increasing risks of malformations, abortion, or death of the baby.
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Education and Responsibilities: Very young people who marry hardly finish their studies. Marriage responsibilities make it difficult to continue education, and if children come, obligations increase. Sacrificing studies to fulfill household duties can affect the family's economic and educational future.
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Emotional Maturity: Young people often change interests and ideals. Emotional instability can lead to hasty decisions and affect the relationship's stability.
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Spiritual Maturity: Marriage is a covenant before God. If one is not spiritually mature, it can lead to conflicts and difficulties in the relationship.
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Financial Stability: Marriage involves economic responsibilities. Without financial stability, it is difficult to support a family.
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Psychological Readiness: Marriage requires emotional and psychological preparation. If one is not psychologically ready, it can lead to frustrations and conflicts.
Conclusion
The decision to marry is not based solely on age but on maturity and readiness to assume the responsibilities that marriage entails. It is essential to evaluate physical, emotional, spiritual, and financial aspects before making this decision. Remember that marriage is a covenant before God and should be approached with seriousness and preparation.
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