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How to Improve Communication in Your Marriage and Strengthen the Relationship

By Henry Preza



Many marriages lack mutual understanding, which becomes a real obstacle. When a couple is unwilling to yield and insists on imposing their opinions, sooner or later the situation becomes unsustainable, potentially escalating to violent acts.

Not yielding has become a "point of honor" for many spouses, who think that if they do, their marriage will lose. They believe that valuing the other's opinion is a waste of time and power. For others, yielding means allowing things that aren't worth it, when in reality, yielding is the best thing to do in critical moments where there's no understanding.

Below are some tips that may be helpful:

1. Stop to Think

Before closing yourself off to your opinions, reflect on how not understanding your spouse will affect your relationship. Think about the reason you've taken that stance. Are your feelings sincere, or are they filled with hate, distrust, or misunderstanding? If your feelings aren't pure, it's not right not to understand your spouse's position. You might be wrong and just letting yourself be carried away by a whim. Other times, one wants things done their way without considering that there might be better ways to achieve the same result. The best thing is to think before making a decision. Knowing how to listen is fundamental in marriage.

2. Think About the Other Person

When marriage is based only on one's own well-being, without considering the other person's needs, the relationship becomes oppressive and even desperate for one of the two. To understand your spouse, it's necessary to put yourself in their shoes. This makes it easier to understand. If you don't do this, you will hardly understand their likes, desires, and view of life. When one thinks of the other, yielding becomes easier, as you come to the conclusion that this way, married life becomes easier, and you don't argue over small things related to personal tastes.

3. Do It for Love

Love is what allows personal sacrifice. Many times, it's better to yield than to enter into a struggle to make your opinions prevail. Doing so is a much greater demonstration of love than fighting. The Apostle Paul wrote:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth." (1 Corinthians 13:4-6)

Undoubtedly, such love is capable of yielding in simple situations and even in moments when imposing oneself becomes a desire. When you let go of the need to always win, better agreements are reached. It's these kinds of decisions that make it easier to find a solution to any difficulty.

4. Don't Close Yourself Off to Your Opinions

A long time ago, I reconnected with a friend and remembered the words he told me several years ago:
"Henry, you have to know how to listen. If you don't listen, you won't know what others feel."

This same phrase is what I often tell my brothers. I believe it can also apply to families with problems. I say this because not closing oneself off to opinions means knowing how to listen. The more you learn to listen, the better you'll understand your spouse. If you don't know how to listen, you'll think your opinion is always the best.

5. Work on Your Communication

Finally, don't stop working on your communication. Speak more, think before you speak, listen better, pray together, and respectfully tell each other what bothers both of you. Think more about the other person than about yourselves. Communication can improve, and in that way, better agreements will be reached.

Undoubtedly, yielding in marriage will always be a viable option. God wants marriages to make decisions respecting each other, without imposing, and for the well-being of both. Those who do this walk towards a solid and happy marriage.


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