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Is Your Relationship in Crisis? Discover Common Causes and How to Face Them

By Henry Rolando Preza



A relationship guided by God, with respect and communication, can be a blessing and a beautiful prelude to marriage. It's not just about avoiding mistakes but building a relationship that glorifies God.

Many young people know when a relationship isn't going well, but they still choose to continue. Feelings often cloud judgment, and that almost always leads to pain.

A relationship can start off wrong for various reasons. From that moment, we could say it no longer has a reason to be.

Today, I want to share five very common signs of a relationship that started or is going wrong. Perhaps not all of them apply, but I know they repeat in relationships that end in failure.


1. Without God

A relationship starts off wrong when God isn't consulted. God's will comes first. If it's not God's will, it's not right to start a relationship.

But how do we know God's will? The answer is: through His Word. The Lord asks that there be no romantic relationships between believers and unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14-17). When someone does this, they're not in God's will.

Sometimes, God shows attitudes in the other person that we know aren't pleasing to Him. So, why think that a relationship with such a person is God's will? Other times, we know internally that something is wrong with that relationship. If we still go ahead with it, we've already made a mistake. We didn't start well, and a relationship that God doesn't approve of, He doesn't bless.


2. With Sex Before Marriage

A relationship goes wrong when there's sexual activity before marriage. Those relationships that are sexually active head towards failure. I don't know of a single one that, after having sex, has been okay. Some fall into violence, others into disinterest, unwanted pregnancies, or guilt.

God doesn't agree with fornication. Doesn't Scripture say:
"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." (Hebrews 13:4)

If you want your relationship to go well and lead to marriage, avoid sexual relations and anything that might lead to fornication. Better to wait until marriage.


3. Without Communication

When relationships are based more on the physical than on communication, they're heading in the wrong direction. A relationship is a period where communication is most important. Without communication, knowing each other will be fleeting.

In the long run, you'll regret having taken that attitude. I often hear spouses say: "Why didn't I know this before?" And I think to myself: "Because you didn't talk before, because you didn't have good communication, because you didn't pay attention to the more important things."

If in the relationship you can't talk about important matters, in marriage you won't be able to resolve the difficult ones.


4. Only Emotions

Today, people have been led to believe that emotions are what's right. This moves them to act without thinking and to get into unproductive and incorrect relationships. However, in a relationship, one must keep their feet on the ground and think.

Be honest with yourself in your thoughts about the other person. Sometimes you know they're not what you want, but due to feelings, you don't make the right decision.

Neither pity nor illusion should be determining factors.
❓ Ask yourself: Are you making decisions because you truly love or because you're afraid of being alone?


5. Against Parents' Advice

Another way to know if a relationship started off wrong is when parents don't agree. I don't think it's because they're stubborn. Older people have more experience and can perceive what's beneficial and what's not.

Therefore, young people shouldn't have relationships without their parents' consent or keep them hidden. If the young person follows their parents' advice, they'll be a better person.


Conclusion

A relationship should lead to marriage. It's a relationship where there should be respect, understanding, communication, and mutual knowledge. If a relationship is based simply on feelings, sex, or passion, you're just playing and will end in misfortune.

But there's also hope: a relationship guided by God, with respect and communication, can be a blessing and a beautiful prelude to marriage. It's not just about avoiding mistakes but building a relationship that glorifies God.


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