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Manipulation in Dating: How to Spot It and Protect Your Heart

By Henry Preza.



Manipulation in dating can be subtle but damaging. Learn how to recognize the signs, protect your freedom, and live in a relationship built on genuine love and God’s purpose.

Manipulation in Dating: A Quiet Danger

Manipulation in dating is often so subtle that many people don’t even recognize it happening. Life shows us that manipulation is harmful and rejected by God. In the name of love, serious wrongs are committed; youths have been hurt morally and emotionally. Some—without fear of God—use sexual pretenses to take advantage of young people or young women, making them believe they are loved, only to break their hearts.

Jesus taught that love is not about manipulation but about sacrificing for the well-being of the other. Manipulation destroys relationships, families, churches, and even societies.

Signs of Manipulation in a Dating Relationship

Here are some general indicators to help you tell if your relationship might be manipulative:

No one should force you to choose a partner

It’s common for family or friends to try to influence your romantic choices. Don’t let them manipulate you. Your decision should be guided by God’s will, not by external pressure. Many unhappy marriages result from choices that were manipulated by others.


Don’t allow your partner to manipulate you

If your partner is rude, gets angry easily, yells at you in public, or hurts you physically—that’s a sign of manipulation and abuse. Manipulation often shows up even during dating, and these behaviors tend to worsen if carried into marriage.

How to Recognize a Manipulator


Some common traits of a manipulator include:


1. Excessive control: always wanting to know where you are and what you’re doing.

2. Overstepping boundaries: trying to change how you dress, talk, or your relationships with friends, family, or your work

3. Isolation: wanting to limit your contact with friends or family so you only relate with them.

4. Threats & emotional blackmail: saying they’ll end the relationship if you don’t comply with what they want.

5. Extreme jealousy: controlling your social life so you remain isolated.

Sexual Manipulation Is Also Abuse

No one has the right to pressure you into physical intimacy. A healthy relationship is built on respect and genuine love.

1 Corinthians 13:5: Love does not seek its own.

Proverbs 6:27-28: Don’t play with fire—you may get burned.

1 Peter 2:11: Flee from sinful desires that wage war against the soul.

Romans 13:14: Clothe yourself with the Lord and do not gratify the flesh’s desires.

Dating Violence Is a Crime

Manipulation violates human dignity. Statistics show that between 20% and 59% of young people are victims of violence in dating. This makes it crucial to understand your partner’s character early on and safeguard your future.

What to Do If You Are Being Manipulated

1. Seek God’s guidance: Pray and ask for clarity.

2. Set clear boundaries: If your partner doesn’t change, be prepared to end the relationship.

3. Trust God with your future: He has someone better prepared for you.

It is better to face disappointment while you are young than to live a lifetime bound in a painful marriage.

You Still Have Time to Guard Your Future

If you have been manipulated or hurt, Jesus can bring you freedom. Give your life to Him and begin living in real love—free from manipulation, sin, and lies. Make choices rooted in God’s will, and guard your heart.



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