By Henry Preza
In Christian courtship, mutual respect is essential for building a healthy, lasting relationship. Yet too many young women end up in damaging relationships with disrespectful partners—men who manipulate, emotionally abuse, or pressure them sexually. In this article, you’ll read three real stories of women who missed the warning signs and paid a heavy price. These stories are meant as a wake-up call: to value your dignity, listen to wise counsel, and recognize disrespect in a relationship before it’s too late.
Lorena’s Story
Lorena was 18 when she started dating a young man from her church. He was older and had a reputation in the congregation as a “ladies’ man”—someone who never committed serious relationships.
She fell in love with him despite repeated warnings. His sweet, manipulative words had more influence over her heart than the wise advice of loved ones.
He began taking her to secluded places and touching her in ways she didn’t want. She felt guilty, ashamed, and used. Several church members urged her to end it, but she ignored them.
Then, he convinced her to go to his house when nobody else was home and pressured her into having sex. It was a tragedy of disrespect. She became pregnant, and he refused to take responsibility. She dropped out of school and began working to support herself. By the time Lorena realized she had been deeply disrespected, it was already too late.
Ester’s Story
Ester was a cheerful, service-hearted young woman, admired in her church for honesty and willingness to serve. She fell in love with someone who seemed like a good Christian, and everyone approved of their relationship.
But soon enough, she discovered he was controlling and violent—though not always physically at first. Over time, his emotional control increased. Eventually they married, but the abuse continued.
He forbade her from going out, mistreated her sexually, stopped her from talking with other believers, and prevented her from serving in church. Ester felt trapped and like a failure. Only after enduring too much did she see the disrespect for what it was—and had to pursue divorce through legal means.
Marlene’s Story
Marlene was a devoted Christian, but she let her feelings overpower what she believed was God’s will. Her parents disapproved of the man she fell for, but her insistence won them over.
She soon discovered he often saw his ex. More than once, she caught them kissing, but he dismissed it as “just a greeting” and accused her of being jealous. Marlene kept convincing herself it wasn’t a big deal to avoid feeling hurt.
Later, even though he broke up with his ex, he was seen with other women. Friends warned her: “If you don’t leave him, things will end badly.” She didn’t listen. They married, but eventually separated. He divorced her and is now with someone else. Marlene deeply regrets not ending the disrespect sooner.
Reflection
These stories make one thing clear: young women must demand respect in courtship. When society normalizes disrespect, it becomes all the more vital to set boundaries.
Your dignity is not something to be walked on—you are precious to God. If someone truly loves you, he will wait until marriage and will not mistreat you.
If you are with a disrespectful partner, let these stories be a warning and a call to make wise decisions—before it’s too late.
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